Circle of Friends in the Circle of Life!

It's been overdue for a very very very long time now.  More than a year since my last post.  Not a single one in 2012.  But I think it is good not to write at all instead of forcing myself to come up with words, which at times might not even be the right words.  You see I've realized I've grown stronger mentally and emotionally as a person over the past year.  But it is good to come back once in a while, & here I am, maybe not with the right words, but with what I feel and think.

I used to watch “Friends” and “How I Met Your Mother” and always wonder does such a friends group exist in real life.  You know what, it does exist.  It’s not just in reel life, it can actually exist in real life.  I believed this only when I found my Group.  My F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

We don’t exactly know how, but we all just got pulled like iron fillings towards the magnet of Friendship.  From a class of 60+ students, it was just with each other that the 4 of us blended so well.  The friendship has grown so strong that it is evident to every living creature in GEMS (I mean it, even the dogs in the campus know that we 4 belong together).  The friendship has blossomed to the extent that people turn green with jealousy every time they see us together.  People talk about us, lecturers take our friendship as example for the other students.  We spend our weekdays anticipating and planning the weekend, & each weekend is an epic in its own, ‘cause when the Chandaal Chowkdi comes together, hell breaks loose!

All moments are being captured to be treasured for life.

My relationship with each one of them is at different wavelengths, but yet each one of them is special to me in their own way (some being very special for me).  I’m addicted to them, and I can’t imagine life without them.

But soon reality is going to hit us, hit us hard!

Things are not going to remain the same.  Each one of our lives is going to change, is going to move on.  I fear missing this time so much, so much that I don’t want it to end.  I fear I will someday be just another friend among the 100s of friends in their Facebook list.

Why can’t time just freeze for us?!

Why can’t we have the same equation with each other as now all throughout our life?!

Is there really something called “Friends for Life”?!

Will we able to find the same comfort level in any other group?!

So many unanswered questions, and so less time.

Time is flying.  We’ve already finished more than a year together.  Just a couple of months left, and soon the college life will come to an end.  Each one will move on in life, into different phases of their lives, leaving a huge void in my life.

I know I should stop being a pessimist and start enjoying every moment I have with them, & that’s what I intend to do!

Make this memorable for them and for me….

‘Cause they are my Circle of Friends in the Circle of Life!

2011 - A Milestone In My Life....

Where do I start....
The year that changed the face of my existence..

From Shaista's Wedding earlier in the year and addition of a new member to our family, Naveed, to me deciding to do further studies to changing my job to finding new friends for life.. Everything unexpected.. Everything that I had never thought would happen..

This indeed was THE YEAR....!!!!

I dunno what 2012 has in store for me..

Right now, not feeling that overwhelmed to pour out my feelings.. But some day soon will post my 2011 experiences in detail..

For Now.. A Very Happy New Year Bloggy..!!!! :)

Modifications...!!!!

Time for Modifications that are of significance....

They say we need to close some doors just for the sake that they no longer fit in our Life.. Mind you, not because of pride..
But its better to have them shut than have any pointless drama, heartaches, grudges, accusations, ill feelings, etc.

Life Getting Ahead..

Finished "Revolution 2020" in flat 2 days..!!!!!
That's record time.. Haven't finished any book (page-to-page) in two days..
Proud of myself..!!!! :)

This story din't have a Happy Ending..
A bit disappointed about that..
So used to Chetan's Happy Endings..
The book overall was hardcore realistic.. But the ending became filmy (the part before the climax.. 'Cause everything gets alright at the end of the climax in Bollywood).

Life had always been unfair to Gopal.. He deserved justice in the end at least.. :(

But then again, what is a "Happy Ending" ????
The protagonist getting his soul mate, the love of his life ?
Getting married and settling down ?!?!
Is that what "Happy Ending" means ?!?!
I guess that's a Happy Ending in novels and movies..
But in Reality, Life doesn't stop at that.. There is a Beginning of a new story after the so called "Happy Ending"..
Or you just keep meeting the wrong people in life, and then someday you will most definitely find The One for you.. And yes, that will be one Happy Phase of Life.. :)

Every person is a Hero in his/her Life.. The protagonist of their own Life story..
Whether they do all the right things or wrong.. Whether they've been fair or have done injustice at some point or the other to somebody or the other.. Still everybody likes to see himself a Hero in his own story..
And they have all the right to do so..

I'm in a Revolutionary phase of Life right now..
How I was yearning for a change to happen.. Finally, got my well-deserved change.. :)

Life is full of surprises.. And it has given me a surprise, a pleasant one..
Here I am, getting ahead in Life.. :)

College starts next week..
I'm so very excited.. So happy for myself.. :)
I'm going to get a Masters degree from a Regular College that too an International Degree from South Asia University, London..!!!!
First one to reach the Masters level of education in my family.. (Mom-Dad, Bro-Sis)..
The second to get an MBA in my immediate clan..

I will be shutting up all those @$$#%* who underestimated me or disapproved of me or ever looked down upon me..

In a couple of months, will be out of CBay.. (Gosh! How much I hate that place..!!)
Waiting so eagerly for the day when I will put down my papers.. So wanna get rid of that place..

M.B.A. was a big decision.. And I took exactly 2 nights to make this decision..
I went through all the pros and cons.. and the pros list won..

Yeah, a huge chunk of my savings from the past 7 years will go for the MBA fees..
But I'm happy I'm not dependent on my parents for that.. I'll support my further studies with my hard earned money without being a burden on anybody (even my parents).. Its such an amazing feeling..!!!! :)

Life is going to be so hectic for the next 2 years.. So busy that even 24 hours a day won't be enough for me..
I will have to toggle between internship and classes and the quarterly exams..
Won't have time to think about anything or do anything that I like..
But that's what I wanted.. I wanted something that will keep me so busy that I do not have time to think of some things in Life..

I wasn't ambitious ever..
I had always thought of earning till I get married and be a home-maker after that..
But now I'm contemplating that.. I think I want to be a career woman..
And then again, I dunno what Life has in store for me..
For now, my MBA is my goal.. and I will achieve it..!!!!

Wonder how its going to be sitting and studying (not reading)..
I've lost touch with studies..
And CBay has rusted my brain, my memory, my communication skills, my confidence, everything..

Now, with every interview my confidence is increasing, and I'm also building up my coms..
Thankfully, am meeting so many people now who are building up my confidence, first one being Nehruzii Sir.. He is just so encouraging.. After my Aptitude and Psychometric tests, he has more confidence in me than I can ever have in myself.. And I will give my best and try hard not to dishearten him.. :)
(But damn, he is so strict..)

Before, I never could answer the question who my idol is.. But now I can proudly say Nehruzii Sir is my idol.. :)
He's gone through so much in life to have attained the status and position he is in right now..
When he speaks, its so motivating.. I'm just so impressed with him.. :)

And I've never seen Maa-Daddy so proud of me.. They're so supportive.. I realized it now.. :)

Burdened with too many hopes.. I just hope I don't let down anybody..
More than anybody else I don't want to let myself down..

And so now begin the most crucial years of my Life..
My belief in Allah has strengthened over the past couple of months..
I read Quran everyday now.. I don't sleep unless I read 50 verses every single day..
I thank Allah for answering my prayers, and I pray He gives me all the patience, strength, endurance, and of course memory power..
'Ameen.

Life.......

Life Sahi Hai..
Tension Nahi Hai....!!!!!!!!

P.S. Touch Wood x10.

Yet Another Transition..

Gathered up courage and have made some firm decisions..
Decisions that are going to change my life from good to better..

Yes, I will have to struggle a lot now, challenge my abilities, prove myself..

Getting out to face the world, learn new lessons, and accomplish what I had always wanted but was too timid to commit..
Putting myself out of my comfort zone..

My Life is changing, and changing for good..

I think "Life and Me" deserves a change too..
I have 2 options, either to delete it or go online..

And I choose to go online..

Praying for strength and patience and tolerance..
I want to do good.. and I will..!!!!!

You Live Only Once....

Just so true..!!!!!
But wish Life was a movie too..

After 11 months and 29 days, finally went for a movie..
Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara..
Worth the gap of 1 year....!!!! :)

So wanna live the life of any 1 of the characters in ZNMD!!!!

Supposed sequel to Dil Chahta Hai, and most definitely better than DCH..

Farhan and Abhay, just love them..
So nice to hear Farhan's husky voice yet again.. :)
And Abhay can sing as well.. :)

Have been listening to Senorita, Ik Junoon, and Suraj Ki Baahon Mein on loop..

One of my favorite movies..
Now waiting to get my hands on my personal copy of
ZINDAGI NA MILEGI DOBARA..!!!!

Whats Stopping Me ?!?!

On the verge of hating some things,
But deep down inside, not able to....

On the verge of breaking all ties,
But deep down inside, not able to....

Desperate to start fresh,
Desperate to forget past,
Desperate to change present,
But deep down inside, not able to....

Catch Me If You Can...!!!!

The more You chase It.. The more It makes You run behind It..
That's how cynical Life is..!!!!

And that's exactly what's happening in My Life..
I'm running behind so many things, looking forward to so many things, waiting for so many things..
But the more am looking forward to things, the more prolonged the wait is getting..

Maybe not give up, but sure I should Let Go..
Let Life take a turn at Its own pace.. Let It decide on Its own when to give me what I deserve..

But what will I do after letting go ?!
What will I concentrate on ?!
If not for the hopes and dreams, everything will come to a standstill..
What will be the essence of Life then ?!

I wanna live to the fullest.. Live Life Queen Size.. :)
And for that I need to keep the fire in me burning.. The fire of Optimism..
Without which Aysha is not Aysha..
And Aysha, in Swahili, is Life.. :)

Doldrums Of Life..

I put on my philosophical cap and thought for long.. And then came up with this stupid philosophy about Life.. That its a River which keeps flowing and circulating..

But at times, there comes a point where this River named Life becomes stagnant.. Say a dam or reservoir being the reason..

My Life is there at this point.. Stagnant and lifeless..
Boring actually..
Yeah, exciting things are happening around me, with people around me, their lives are changing.. But mine has come to a standstill..

I need a change, though 2010 has been life-changing for me (drastically), but right now, at this point, everything seems to have come to a standstill personally..

Yeah, I'm happy for people around me and trying to keep myself busy with their preparations.. But deep down I know am just avoiding to face the "full-stop" that's build up in my individuality..

I can't stop comparing myself to people around me who are moving on with their lives, and that hurts, because the one thing I hate the most is being compared to anybody.. And right now, am at this sad state where I'm doing this dreaded thing to myself.. Its not that I'm doing it on purpose.. But I can't stop myself doing it..

I know am not that unfortunate.. But I'm doubting if life has ever been fair to me..

I was this happy-go-lucky person once upon a time.. Where life used to keep me engaged, throwing in events to keep myself busy with.. I used to have that "happening" life.. But right now, even though I have things on my hands to concentrate on, I'm here feeling depressed about things I don't have in life..

I think I'm undergoing the Quarter-Life Crisis..
I'm getting old.. and I don't want to get older..
Another 5+ years and I'll be 30..
Am scared, I don't want to still be the same what I'm now even then..

I have no idea what Life/Destiny/Fate has planned for me or has in store for me..
Life is unpredictable now.. And I'm desperate for a good drastic change that's gonna be the best for me..

You see I'm among those set of people who get uneasy with "The Usual"..
I need the constant change.. Without which I get impatient..

The last unexpected but pleasant change in my life was in 2004..
It was life-changing.. From a resourceless college-going student, who got lucky by chance and landed into a just-so-perfect professional career.. I was the talk-of-the-clan at that point.. And I felt proud about it..

Though, the reality is I really had a tough phase before I got into that lucky situation.. I had visioned myself as a working professional earning a handsome amount.. But to get there, I needed to get into a professional college 1st.. But I was stuck in the never-ending CET counseling phase, where I so very desperately wanted to get into an engineering or dental college.. I was going through a nightmarish phase of life.. But life was such a surprise, it put me out of my dilemma.. It was a drastic change, but a really good one, something I deserved.. Maybe not a Dr. or an Engineer, but here I am in a respectable and a good money-yielding profession..

But at present, I'm back there..
I'm going through the same nightmarish phase of life where I'm uncertain about the future.. I had visioned myself to be married by now.. But I'm still here in the search of Mr. Right.. And having no idea when life is going to throw me in his arms.. But the wait is on and the clock is ticking..

In these matters, I'm very optimistic..
I trust God and my destiny.. I know I will have the perfect life I plan to see myself in some years from now.. But the wait to get till there is traumatic.. 'Cause I'm soon exhausting my patience deposit.. I know good will happen, but I want it to happen soon..

I want to get out of this stagnancy of life..

I don't get everything easily in my life.. I'm a Fighter, fighting my way through destiny.. And I know, someday I will get what I truly deserve.. And I will fight the battle of life till I achieve what I deserve !!!!

I just pray to God to give me all the patience and strength 'cause I don't want to lose my faith in Him..

Life.. A Kaleidoscope..

Yeah..
It has always been a Kaleidoscope..
And lately, has shown me more colors in life since my last post..

The color I relate to most in this Kaleidoscope is ORANGE.. And that's the theme I opted for my template..

Orange, the color of Dawn.. The color of a new beginning..
And that's where I am right now in my life..
On my way to a new beginning.. Forgetting and letting go of my past..
Starting fresh..
Though am trying hard to feel fresh..

This Orange, is Me.. Bright, Warm, and Outstanding..
The combo of Fiery Red and Sunshine Yellow..
Yup, That's ME !!!!

Mission Accomplished !!!!

I cleared my Driving tests !!!!!!!!! :-)

Both my two-wheeler and four-wheeler driving tests were this past Thursday....
And I cleared both.. :-)
Am happy I cleared my four-wheeler test in the first attempt.. :-)
There were a coupla repeaters in my batch.. So, I was scared I might flunk too..
But thankfully, I cleared.. :-)

I'll be getting my DL in 15-20 days now.. :-)

Took my family for a drive and ice creams last night to Corner House.. and my confidence level is building up.. :-)

So, Missing accomplished!

Now, I have my Voter's ID, will be getting my Licence soon...
Next is getting my Passport done.. ;-)

Life's Lesson !!!!!

I guess Aneesh is right....
Am generalizing all my friends....
All my friends who left me have gone out because they had to move on with their lives....
And its not that I lost them totally....
Or we are having any hard feelings.... No !!!!
Am still in touch with them....
We do talk once in a while...
And whenever we talk.. We are happy doing it...
We are still Friends....
We still care for each other.. and happy with each others progress in life...
Just that we don't see each other everyday as we used to do earlier....
So I guess I should stop cribbing....
And take things in a positive attitude... :-)

Attachment and Loneliness !!!!

"The worst thing in life is ATTACHMENT; it hurts when you lose it....
The best thing in life is LONELINESS; it teaches you everything, and when you lose it, you get everything...."

So very true na....

Why Me ?!?!?!?

Is it me ?

Is something wrong with me or does it happen with everybody ?

Does every relationship come with an Expiry Date ????

Is it me who doesn't know how to keep Friends or is it my Friends who dunno how to keep me ?

Am I destined to lose all my Friends one by one ?

Can't I have more than 1 Best Friend ?

Or has God chosen me to have all the unsuccessful Friendships ?

I really envy people who are Friends for years together.... Why can't I have a Friend who is there always with me.... Who's there to share every joy and sorrow with me.... Why can't I have a Friend for a long time.... Say for many years.....

I really wish I had a Friend who would grow with me....

But I think am not that very lucky..... :(

Why me God ?!?!?!

Happy New Year !!!

Happy New Year !!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

Welcome 2008 !!!!

End of 2007 !!!!

Last Day of 2007 !!!!!!!!

Buh-byeeeeeeeeeee 2007... :)

T.A.T.T.O.O.

My Tattoo.. Though not a permanent one....
Got it done on August 8th, 2007.. :)

Back From Hibernation !!!!!

Am back.... :)

After more than 4 months....
Went to hibernation before winter.. he he he..

But am back now..
And with a new plan..
Planning to convert "Life & Me" into a Fun Blog..
Where I'll make note of all the fun I've been up to..
Good way to recall my fun times whenever I want to.. :)
Hope I loyally follow it this time..

Will be back tomorrow..

With updates of all the fun activities I did in my hibernating period.... ;)

Buh-byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...... :)

Response to Stimuli !!

Dear Dr. God,

You have given me the physiological mechanism of responding to any stimulus..
Like..

I pull my hands away when I touch something hot..
I sneeze when I catch cold..
I cough when I choke something..
I cry when my eyes are irritating or if I am sad..
I eat when I am hungry..
I smile when I am happy..
I blush when I feel embarrassed or shy..
I yawn when I am sleepy..
I laugh when I find something funny..
I feel bored when nothing is happening..
I listen to music when I am feeling low..
I shop when I feel the urge of shopping..
Etc., etc., etc., etc.

Then why.. Why don't I shut my mouth when am angry ?!?!
Why do I start shouting and blabbering when am angry ?!?!
I tell all that is not necessary and then feel guilty about it.... :(
Please, teach me how to respond when am angry..
Okae.. I pray for this..
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease..