Yet Another Transition..

Gathered up courage and have made some firm decisions..
Decisions that are going to change my life from good to better..

Yes, I will have to struggle a lot now, challenge my abilities, prove myself..

Getting out to face the world, learn new lessons, and accomplish what I had always wanted but was too timid to commit..
Putting myself out of my comfort zone..

My Life is changing, and changing for good..

I think "Life and Me" deserves a change too..
I have 2 options, either to delete it or go online..

And I choose to go online..

Praying for strength and patience and tolerance..
I want to do good.. and I will..!!!!!

You Live Only Once....

Just so true..!!!!!
But wish Life was a movie too..

After 11 months and 29 days, finally went for a movie..
Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara..
Worth the gap of 1 year....!!!! :)

So wanna live the life of any 1 of the characters in ZNMD!!!!

Supposed sequel to Dil Chahta Hai, and most definitely better than DCH..

Farhan and Abhay, just love them..
So nice to hear Farhan's husky voice yet again.. :)
And Abhay can sing as well.. :)

Have been listening to Senorita, Ik Junoon, and Suraj Ki Baahon Mein on loop..

One of my favorite movies..
Now waiting to get my hands on my personal copy of
ZINDAGI NA MILEGI DOBARA..!!!!

Whats Stopping Me ?!?!

On the verge of hating some things,
But deep down inside, not able to....

On the verge of breaking all ties,
But deep down inside, not able to....

Desperate to start fresh,
Desperate to forget past,
Desperate to change present,
But deep down inside, not able to....

Catch Me If You Can...!!!!

The more You chase It.. The more It makes You run behind It..
That's how cynical Life is..!!!!

And that's exactly what's happening in My Life..
I'm running behind so many things, looking forward to so many things, waiting for so many things..
But the more am looking forward to things, the more prolonged the wait is getting..

Maybe not give up, but sure I should Let Go..
Let Life take a turn at Its own pace.. Let It decide on Its own when to give me what I deserve..

But what will I do after letting go ?!
What will I concentrate on ?!
If not for the hopes and dreams, everything will come to a standstill..
What will be the essence of Life then ?!

I wanna live to the fullest.. Live Life Queen Size.. :)
And for that I need to keep the fire in me burning.. The fire of Optimism..
Without which Aysha is not Aysha..
And Aysha, in Swahili, is Life.. :)

Doldrums Of Life..

I put on my philosophical cap and thought for long.. And then came up with this stupid philosophy about Life.. That its a River which keeps flowing and circulating..

But at times, there comes a point where this River named Life becomes stagnant.. Say a dam or reservoir being the reason..

My Life is there at this point.. Stagnant and lifeless..
Boring actually..
Yeah, exciting things are happening around me, with people around me, their lives are changing.. But mine has come to a standstill..

I need a change, though 2010 has been life-changing for me (drastically), but right now, at this point, everything seems to have come to a standstill personally..

Yeah, I'm happy for people around me and trying to keep myself busy with their preparations.. But deep down I know am just avoiding to face the "full-stop" that's build up in my individuality..

I can't stop comparing myself to people around me who are moving on with their lives, and that hurts, because the one thing I hate the most is being compared to anybody.. And right now, am at this sad state where I'm doing this dreaded thing to myself.. Its not that I'm doing it on purpose.. But I can't stop myself doing it..

I know am not that unfortunate.. But I'm doubting if life has ever been fair to me..

I was this happy-go-lucky person once upon a time.. Where life used to keep me engaged, throwing in events to keep myself busy with.. I used to have that "happening" life.. But right now, even though I have things on my hands to concentrate on, I'm here feeling depressed about things I don't have in life..

I think I'm undergoing the Quarter-Life Crisis..
I'm getting old.. and I don't want to get older..
Another 5+ years and I'll be 30..
Am scared, I don't want to still be the same what I'm now even then..

I have no idea what Life/Destiny/Fate has planned for me or has in store for me..
Life is unpredictable now.. And I'm desperate for a good drastic change that's gonna be the best for me..

You see I'm among those set of people who get uneasy with "The Usual"..
I need the constant change.. Without which I get impatient..

The last unexpected but pleasant change in my life was in 2004..
It was life-changing.. From a resourceless college-going student, who got lucky by chance and landed into a just-so-perfect professional career.. I was the talk-of-the-clan at that point.. And I felt proud about it..

Though, the reality is I really had a tough phase before I got into that lucky situation.. I had visioned myself as a working professional earning a handsome amount.. But to get there, I needed to get into a professional college 1st.. But I was stuck in the never-ending CET counseling phase, where I so very desperately wanted to get into an engineering or dental college.. I was going through a nightmarish phase of life.. But life was such a surprise, it put me out of my dilemma.. It was a drastic change, but a really good one, something I deserved.. Maybe not a Dr. or an Engineer, but here I am in a respectable and a good money-yielding profession..

But at present, I'm back there..
I'm going through the same nightmarish phase of life where I'm uncertain about the future.. I had visioned myself to be married by now.. But I'm still here in the search of Mr. Right.. And having no idea when life is going to throw me in his arms.. But the wait is on and the clock is ticking..

In these matters, I'm very optimistic..
I trust God and my destiny.. I know I will have the perfect life I plan to see myself in some years from now.. But the wait to get till there is traumatic.. 'Cause I'm soon exhausting my patience deposit.. I know good will happen, but I want it to happen soon..

I want to get out of this stagnancy of life..

I don't get everything easily in my life.. I'm a Fighter, fighting my way through destiny.. And I know, someday I will get what I truly deserve.. And I will fight the battle of life till I achieve what I deserve !!!!

I just pray to God to give me all the patience and strength 'cause I don't want to lose my faith in Him..

Life.. A Kaleidoscope..

Yeah..
It has always been a Kaleidoscope..
And lately, has shown me more colors in life since my last post..

The color I relate to most in this Kaleidoscope is ORANGE.. And that's the theme I opted for my template..

Orange, the color of Dawn.. The color of a new beginning..
And that's where I am right now in my life..
On my way to a new beginning.. Forgetting and letting go of my past..
Starting fresh..
Though am trying hard to feel fresh..

This Orange, is Me.. Bright, Warm, and Outstanding..
The combo of Fiery Red and Sunshine Yellow..
Yup, That's ME !!!!

Mission Accomplished !!!!

I cleared my Driving tests !!!!!!!!! :-)

Both my two-wheeler and four-wheeler driving tests were this past Thursday....
And I cleared both.. :-)
Am happy I cleared my four-wheeler test in the first attempt.. :-)
There were a coupla repeaters in my batch.. So, I was scared I might flunk too..
But thankfully, I cleared.. :-)

I'll be getting my DL in 15-20 days now.. :-)

Took my family for a drive and ice creams last night to Corner House.. and my confidence level is building up.. :-)

So, Missing accomplished!

Now, I have my Voter's ID, will be getting my Licence soon...
Next is getting my Passport done.. ;-)

Life's Lesson !!!!!

I guess Aneesh is right....
Am generalizing all my friends....
All my friends who left me have gone out because they had to move on with their lives....
And its not that I lost them totally....
Or we are having any hard feelings.... No !!!!
Am still in touch with them....
We do talk once in a while...
And whenever we talk.. We are happy doing it...
We are still Friends....
We still care for each other.. and happy with each others progress in life...
Just that we don't see each other everyday as we used to do earlier....
So I guess I should stop cribbing....
And take things in a positive attitude... :-)

Attachment and Loneliness !!!!

"The worst thing in life is ATTACHMENT; it hurts when you lose it....
The best thing in life is LONELINESS; it teaches you everything, and when you lose it, you get everything...."

So very true na....

Why Me ?!?!?!?

Is it me ?

Is something wrong with me or does it happen with everybody ?

Does every relationship come with an Expiry Date ????

Is it me who doesn't know how to keep Friends or is it my Friends who dunno how to keep me ?

Am I destined to lose all my Friends one by one ?

Can't I have more than 1 Best Friend ?

Or has God chosen me to have all the unsuccessful Friendships ?

I really envy people who are Friends for years together.... Why can't I have a Friend who is there always with me.... Who's there to share every joy and sorrow with me.... Why can't I have a Friend for a long time.... Say for many years.....

I really wish I had a Friend who would grow with me....

But I think am not that very lucky..... :(

Why me God ?!?!?!

Happy New Year !!!

Happy New Year !!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

Welcome 2008 !!!!

End of 2007 !!!!

Last Day of 2007 !!!!!!!!

Buh-byeeeeeeeeeee 2007... :)

T.A.T.T.O.O.

My Tattoo.. Though not a permanent one....
Got it done on August 8th, 2007.. :)

Back From Hibernation !!!!!

Am back.... :)

After more than 4 months....
Went to hibernation before winter.. he he he..

But am back now..
And with a new plan..
Planning to convert "Life & Me" into a Fun Blog..
Where I'll make note of all the fun I've been up to..
Good way to recall my fun times whenever I want to.. :)
Hope I loyally follow it this time..

Will be back tomorrow..

With updates of all the fun activities I did in my hibernating period.... ;)

Buh-byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...... :)

Response to Stimuli !!

Dear Dr. God,

You have given me the physiological mechanism of responding to any stimulus..
Like..

I pull my hands away when I touch something hot..
I sneeze when I catch cold..
I cough when I choke something..
I cry when my eyes are irritating or if I am sad..
I eat when I am hungry..
I smile when I am happy..
I blush when I feel embarrassed or shy..
I yawn when I am sleepy..
I laugh when I find something funny..
I feel bored when nothing is happening..
I listen to music when I am feeling low..
I shop when I feel the urge of shopping..
Etc., etc., etc., etc.

Then why.. Why don't I shut my mouth when am angry ?!?!
Why do I start shouting and blabbering when am angry ?!?!
I tell all that is not necessary and then feel guilty about it.... :(
Please, teach me how to respond when am angry..
Okae.. I pray for this..
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease..

Life in Transition !!

In the matter of Friends, my life has been in transition..
From an All-Gals Gang to an All-Guys Gang..

In my schooling days, I was never used to being around/with guys..
I mean I dint have any friends who were guys..
Except for my cousins, with whom I used to spend my evenings.
And among these cousins also all were younger to me, except 1.
This group comprised of 5 guys (my brother and 4 other cousins) and 2 gals (my sister and I).
Our houses were close by so we used to play our games togehter after school..

And in school, it was an all girl's school..
So, there again no boys.

And soon when I was 10 years old, these 4 cousins of mine moved to Canada.
So my only friend who was a guy was my brother.

And then, the whole of my schooling years were in and around gals only.

I really din't know how to react when I was around guys of my age..
They were aliens to me..
And my college was also an all-gals college..
So, there again a BIG gang of Gals.. We were a total 9 of them..
And I love my college days more than my school days..
Those were the Best Days of My Life !! ;)

The first time I was exposed to guys was during my CET coaching classes..
And I had a tough time there..
I never used to talk to any guy..
Never respond to them at all..
The guys in my class used to call me Miss Touch-Me-Not.. :D
And I hated them all..

My next set of friends were at NEXT.. The medical transcription training center..
I was the youngest in my batch and so was pampered a lot..
And the guys in my batch never used to bully me.. they were like my big brothers..
I really love and miss the way I was pampered then..

Life moved on and I joined Spheris (Healthscribe then).
Here again I had only Varsha, Sudha, Chitra, and Shobha as friends..
No guys here too.. and we gals had a lot of fun..
Soon Chitra had to move to the opposite shift, Sudha quit, and Shobha moved away for some reasons..

Varsha and I were left..
We moved to a new team and new teammates, and most of whom we were close to were guys.

Very soon my friend circle had both gals and guys in it..
And I loved those times too..

Later things changed.. Varsha got married..
And now am in an All-Guys Gang..
The only girl in the whole gang..
And I like being like that too..
Coz guys are very much different from gals..
Hassle-free you know..
I mean, I feel, there are no jealousy or ego problems when with guys..
Hope am right..

I have 2 very very very very good friends, say my best friends, both are guys.
I had never ever imagined in my silliest dreams, I would have guys as my friends..

And now am having a different feeling..
I want to be alone..
I am my BESTEST friend..
Wanna spend all my time with myself..

But I know this is only short-term..
After all, when should I be such a loner.

Hmmmmmm....
Dunno which stage of transition I will move in the future.
Lets hope for the best, like it has been the best till now.. :)

I'll Be There For You....

Yipppppppeeeeeeee....
THIS IS MY 50th POST !!!! :) :)

~*~*~

I want to go 10 years back..
Wanna go back to be a kid.

Yah, I am enjoying life more now..
But still those were the golden days.

That tension-free life, no hard feelings, no misunderstandings, no need to give explanations to anybody, no need to show anybody how much you care for them... Everything would just happen on its own.. Our fights were all so short-lived..

I remember my friends and me playing so many games.
We even used to enact what we watch on television.
Give ourselves characters and enact particular episodes we used to watch on TV.
One skit everyday.. It was either something we'd watch on TV or our own plays.
I remember myself playing "Meera" of "Hip Hip Hurray".

It was Hip Hip Hurray then, and now I relate myself to FRIENDS.
But sad I don't have all 5 Friends.
I know 2.. I relate them to be Ross and Joey..

And myself.... Am confused..
I dunno if I want to be Monica or Rachael..
I want to be Monica..
But am more like Rachael, I guess..

I wish I really had a BIG gang like FRIENDS.
I would love to be in a circle like that.
I would love to live a FRIENDS life.
But I guess that doesn't happen in India..
Or at least it doensn't happen with me.

Am the "Calamity Kid".
I screw up all relationships. :(
I create disasters.
I dunno if it is me who doesn't understand people, or is it the people who don't understand.

But I wanna tell all my Friends..
I'll Be There For You !!

~*~*~

So no one told you life was going to be this way
Your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA

It's like you're always stuck in second gear
And it hasn't been your day, you weekm your month, or even your year
But..

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour..
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before..
I'll be there for you
'Cuz you're there for me too..

You're still in bet at ten
And work began at eight
You've burned your breakfast
So far.. things are goin' great

Your mother warned you there'd be days like these
Oh but she didn't tell you when the world has brought
You down to your knees that..

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour..
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before..
I'll be there for you
'Cuz you're there for me too..

No one could ever know me
Seems you're the only one who knows
What it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with
Make it through all the rest with
Someone I'll always laugh with
Even at my worst I'm best with you, yeah..

It's like you're always stuck in second gear
And it hasn't been your day, you weekm your month, or even your year
But..

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour..
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before..
I'll be there for you
'Cuz you're there for me too..

Back In Life !!

Am back !!

After a gap of 26 days, am finally here again.
Back in my space, my world, My Life !!

Finished my exams on May 25th.
Exams went well.
I did my best.. Now the evaluator will do the rest.
Results are due in the July, so right now waiting for results.
Till then don't wanna talk about it.. ;)

Life was boring back at work.
Had become a little lazy after the exam break.
And have bloated like anything after this break, still reducing all those extra pounds. :(

The most happening thing, other than my exams, that I did in this gap was watching Mungaru Male.
I WATCHED A KANNADA MOVIE !!
Am shocked myself.. :D
The gals (Cheryl, Powla, & Tania) had planned it before I was back from the exams.
Finally, we got the tickets with great difficutly on May 30th.

This is my second Kannada movie, first being Mutthina Hara (I was forced to watch that 1, coz there was nothing else in TV), and that was some 13-14 years back.

Mungaru Male was worth a watch, am impressed.
Its been more than 5 months from the time it has been released and its still running housefull.
Am planning to watch it again.

Finally, it seems like am getting successful in anger management.
Am really able to control my anger. :)
Am surprised I can be so patient.
I just pray am able to maintain it.. Help me God !!

That's all for now..
Buh-byeeeeeeeeeee....

Examineria !!

Study Break !!

Will be back soon.. After the exams..

Pray for me !!

Buh-byeeeeeeeeeeee....

Happy Birthday Sister !!

First: Sorry.. Late post.
Second: Wish You a Very Very Very Very Happy Birthday.. (Today, belated)

Yeah, yesterday was my sister's Birthday.
She turned 20 yesterday.

Its that time of the year again, when my parents have twins at home. ;)
Every year from April 3rd to April 13th, both Shaista and I are of the same age with 11 months and 20 days more on my side.

Din't celebrate her Birthday this year coz she's got her interns.
So, she's busy studying.
I think today is the last exam.

NE way..
I wish you all the Happiness in the World this year and all the years to come..
Happy Birthday Gal !!